Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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