he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
