I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
