Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
