Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize