ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
