oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Come see our sink grown plant.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
