Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize