highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize