Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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