Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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