you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They have beer where we have blood.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
