i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize