After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
