i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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