I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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