No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
