obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Boobs speak an international language.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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