Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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