so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
