Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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