I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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