I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
