there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
