yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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