That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
