home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
