The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
