u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
