Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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