So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
