Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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