Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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  (480): turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way. http://tfl.nu/4k3o
  Replies (30) Good night (4921) Bad night (834)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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  (310): I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/e7ka
  Replies (14) Good night (3877) Bad night (1261)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

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  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1325) Bad night (5950)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.

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  (631): My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you. http://tfl.nu/4nkq
  Replies (7) Good night (5321) Bad night (1029)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He likes Jesus. Game over.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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  (804): He likes Jesus. Game over. (804): Oooh wait, he just told me he was high. http://tfl.nu/lcdj
  Replies (14) Good night (4862) Bad night (1449)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,

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  (484): Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me, http://tfl.nu/qbcn
  Replies (16) Good night (2238) Bad night (4072)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (3035)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now

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  (214): We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now http://tfl.nu/hu2y
  Replies (3) Good night (1992) Bad night (881)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

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  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (5098) Bad night (808)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

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  (513): I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate. http://tfl.nu/sg11
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (1749)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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  (570): The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night. http://tfl.nu/1ay9
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (439)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (318)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  But what if it got lost?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

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  (770): you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in. (1-770): But what if it got lost? (770): its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it. http://tfl.nu/ord5
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (275)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.

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  (408): I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was. http://tfl.nu/1g06
  Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (219)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.

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  (253): Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day. http://tfl.nu/ofil
  Replies (4) Good night (234) Bad night (547)

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