all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?