Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you Grey Goose.

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  (703): By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out. (703): Thank you Grey Goose. http://tfl.nu/neos
  Replies (18) Good night (792) Bad night (2281)
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  (607): View more from New York

  If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.

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  (607): If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock. http://tfl.nu/sga2
  Replies (66) Good night (5342) Bad night (1538)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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  (203): if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize. http://tfl.nu/tmed
  Replies (27) Good night (6374) Bad night (1234)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (2958)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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  (602): So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby. http://tfl.nu/ia9y
  Replies (46) Good night (3775) Bad night (1535)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.

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  (410): Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP. http://tfl.nu/xvnv
  Replies (4) Good night (4205) Bad night (1192)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.

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  (732): I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid. http://tfl.nu/5186
  Replies (4) Good night (2755) Bad night (855)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.

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  (313): Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg. http://tfl.nu/ll5x
  Replies (11) Good night (838) Bad night (2874)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (3904) Bad night (1480)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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  (207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu
  Replies (5) Good night (2756) Bad night (824)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (943)
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  (510): View more from California

  I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.

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  (510): I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA. http://tfl.nu/zpwo
  Replies (5) Good night (1347) Bad night (497)
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  (714): View more from California

  She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.

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  (714): She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap. http://tfl.nu/1x8o
  Replies (10) Good night (530) Bad night (1256)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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  (413): Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad http://tfl.nu/6sd1
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (537)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.

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  (336): When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night. http://tfl.nu/5o01
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (376)

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