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• (310): View more from California

  Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.

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• (951): View more from California

  This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (714): View more from California

  so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You're just horny.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH

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• (585): View more from New York

  I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days

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