dude i'm inner monologue high
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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