i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
