Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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