ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
