mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
