Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
