Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
