Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize