its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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