I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize