Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Randomize
