I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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