I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
