I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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