just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
