I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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