his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
