She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
high people should be assigned attendants
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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