Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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