i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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