youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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